Rules aren’t just about laws or workplace policies—they exist in families, relationships, and society. Whether we enforce, obey, or challenge rules depends on our ego state at the time.
1. Rules from the Parent Ego State
If you enforce a rule because “this is the way it is,” you’re in Parent mode.
🔹 Example: Professor Umbridge – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
- Critical Parent: Uses strict, authoritarian rules to suppress rebellion and maintain control.
- No room for discussion or logic—only obedience.
🔹 Example: Miranda Priestly – The Devil Wears Prada
- Critical Parent: Enforces impossible expectations without explanation or negotiation.
🔹 Example: Mufasa – The Lion King
- Nurturing Parent: When he tells Simba, “Everything the light touches is our kingdom,” he’s setting boundaries out of care, not control.
2. Rules from the Adult Ego State
If you apply rules based on reason, without emotions or power struggles, you’re in Adult mode.
🔹 Example: Jean-Luc Picard – Star Trek: The Next Generation
- Adult: He enforces rules only when necessary, using logic and fairness.
🔹 Example: Atticus Finch – To Kill a Mockingbird
- Adult: He challenges unjust rules based on facts and ethical reasoning.
🔹 Example: Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games
- Adult: She follows rules strategically but challenges unfair laws with rational rebellion.
💡 Key Takeaway:
- The Adult state questions unfair rules but does not reject all structure.
3. Rules from the Child Ego State
If you react emotionally to rules—either by blindly obeying or rebelling—you’re in Child mode.
🔹 Example: Ariel – The Little Mermaid
- Rebellious Child: Breaks rules impulsively without thinking about consequences.
🔹 Example: Ferris Bueller – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
- Rebellious Child: Breaks school rules for fun, purely out of defiance.
🔹 Example: Cinderella – Cinderella
- Submissive Child: Follows cruel rules without question, believing she has no power.
💡 Key Takeaway:
- Rebellious Child = Impulsively breaks rules.
- Submissive Child = Obeys without question.
